Is it Better to Stay Together "For the Kids"?
Divorce is hard on absolutely everyone involved, but it’s often most difficult for the children who simply can’t understand this very adult topic and who flourish in a stable family environment. While staying together for the sake of the children is an option if you can manage it, staying in an irreparable marriage doesn’t do anyone any favors. If your marriage can be saved, by all means, put your efforts into that. If, on the other hand, you believe divorce is inevitable (or you simply aren’t sure), consult with an experienced family law attorney today.
Children Are Affected by Conflict in Your Marriage
Every family experiences conflict from time to time, but if your marriage is riddled with conflict that you can’t find a way to adequately address, that conflict is no doubt affecting your children. Some children act out in such situations by getting in trouble at school, disobeying the rules at home, and/or generally misbehaving. Other children, however, can internalize the conflict and do everything in their power to try to fix it. Neither is a healthy approach for children – who need tender loving care from both parents and shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of parental strife.
The fact is that even the friendliest divorces hurt the children and the parents. After all, you are dissolving the family unit that you’ve created together, and that supports all of you emotionally and physically. Change is hard on everyone – most of all, children. This does not, however, mean that you can’t move forward with meaningful intent in an effort to build a happy, fruitful future that your children will come to rely upon and cherish. While the process is often difficult, the results can be extremely positive.
Working Together to Create a Happy Post-Divorce Life
To protect your children throughout the divorce process – and beyond – it is obviously optimal to work in tandem with your soon-to-be-ex. If you can make that happen, you are ahead of the game. If not, you’ll need to focus your own efforts on what’s best for your kids throughout. Such efforts should include:
- You should talk to your children in a meaningful way – that is also age-appropriate – about the impending change as you assure them that you will continue to keep them safe and secure.
- You should remain warm and affectionate with your children and should assure them that they are not to blame in any way.
- You should not sink to badmouthing or denigrating your children’s other parent (regardless of whether he or she has succumbed to this kind of petty behavior).
- You should assure your children that they will continue to see their other parent on a regular and consistent basis – and should follow through with this promise.
- You should establish clear, reasonable expectations of your children and make sure they understand them.
- You should help establish a strong network of social support for yourself and for your children – including friends, family members, loved ones, and mentors.
- You should seek professional counseling for yourself and your children as necessary. Many people benefit from talk therapy during trying times.
A Murfreesboro Family Law Attorney Can Help You with Your Divorce Concerns
If you are preparing to divorce, your children’s best interests are no doubt weighing heavily upon you. The compassionate family law attorneys at Dotson & Taylor in Murfreesboro are here to help. Our dedicated family law attorneys have decades of experience helping divorcing parents like you obtain divorces that protect their children throughout the process and beyond. We care about your case, so please don’t hesitate to contact us online or call us at (615) 890-1982 for more information today.